Preacher's kid

I've never had to make more spiritual decisions in my life as I have in the past 5 or so years.

Growing up as a preacher's kid meant I went to church every time the doors were open. Not because I wanted to. I didn't really get a choice. I was only allowed to miss church if vomiting or fever were present. Not that I'm complaining. I'm thankful for my Christian upbringing and Brad and I are doing many of the same things to our kids.

I didn't get to pick where I went to church. I didn't get to pick what I believed. I didn't feel forced or brainwashed but you know what I mean. I was a good child and did what I was told. =) I never had to make any of those decisions because I was always the preacher's kid or living under the preacher's roof.

Then the preacher moved to NC and left me in WV. I was nearly 25 and for the first time having to think for myself. I'm ashamed to say I had spent many a church service before then not paying much attention and I wasn't prepared. Let's be honest, I had heard it all before. Suddenly, I didn't know what I believed. Suddenly, I didn't know who I was anymore. I was no longer the preacher's daughter. For awhile I was ex-preacher's daughter (awkward!!!). After some time I became plain Elisabeth Palmer, member of Buffalo Baptist Church. I found myself listening to the new pastor's every word, thinking, "Do I believe that?" I remember calling dad more than once to ask him about something that had been said.

Not only that, I was also angry. (I hadn't planned to talk about this part until this very moment) Angry at God, angry at the people at church, angry at the new pastor. If it hadn't been for all these people, my kids might still be learning under the leadership of my dad. I looked forward to the day when he would baptize my kids. I loved the way they ran into church every service and hugged their grandparents and went to the office for a piece of candy. In a matter of days, all that was ripped out from under me, from under us. It was something I never thought would happen.

In time, I realized my parent's moving away was a very important step to me "growing up." It is easy to spend your life saying "because dad says so" about every thing. But when you have to come up with you own beliefs, that's when the rubber meets the road. Looking back, there are so many areas where I can see God's providence in my life and this is just one of them. Once I realized that, it was easy to let go of the anger I had and forgive everyone. Not that anyone really even needed forgiving!

Fast forward 5 years. Now we are in NC. Closer to my parents than we have been in several years but still far enough away that we have to continue making our own choices. =) Now we have to pick a new church. I like to think I have grown some spiritually and am better able to discern the truth. I still seek my parents' guidance from time to time. They are always there when I need them. And as I introduce myself to different people in the church, I always find myself including preacher's kid if we get to talk long enough. It's just hard to get away from that title!