Another year, coming to a close. This has been a very long year for us. Lots of exciting changes, lots of not so exciting times. I have to say I'm ready to put this year behind us and looking forward to what is coming in 2015. We have so many projects around the house that we want to do. So much more to discover in our community.
In a nutshell, my year:
In January we sold our house, left for a cruise the next day, the kids were out of school for the whole month because of the water crisis and below zero temps. Moved in with Brad's grandma. Brad moved to NC without us in March and he's been working out of town ever since. A few months later when school was finally out we moved to NC and stayed with my parents for the next 7 weeks. Our belongings were in storage for the better part of 8 months. We tried to buy several houses, had a daughter go into double digits. Finally found a house that wasn't what we wanted but when we walked in, we knew it was the one. Dad became cancer-free. The kids went to a new school, we found a new church. Got our yard fenced in. Had our 12 yr wedding anniversary. And I'm sure I'm forgetting lots of things!
How can we be approaching 2015 already?! I remember Y2K and all its hoopla, like it was yesterday. Brad and I were only dating back then. I remember thinking that I couldn't believe it was going to be the year 2000. I tried to imagine what my life might be like when it was 2010. I couldn't even fathom 2015 back then. But here we are. And now I'm trying to picture what my life will be like in 2025! That doesn't even seem possible but it will be here before I can blink. Assuming the Lord doesn't take me home, by death or rapture. I'm looking forward to whatever He has in store for us!
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Struggling
Ok, this is going to be a mixture of a rant, a confession and a plea for help.
If you have been reading my blog for very long (or you are related to me), I don't have to say very much about the continual struggles I have with Hannah at school.
Since moving to NC, those struggles have become much larger. For starters, she didn't learn all her times tables last year like they did down here so that puts her behind. Well, work on them in the evenings, you say. I would love to if I didn't have several hours of homework to do with each child already! And even if we weren't doing anything in the evenings, just learning the times tables is not easy for Hannah. I also feel like she makes so many careless mistakes that could be easily corrected if she would just take her time and try.
I wish she was smarter. Yes, it is hard on me but I want it more than anything for her. I hate to see the emotional pain she goes thru. This makes her feel so unworthy. I pray for God to help me accept her the way she is but it is very hard. I love her so much but she doesn't make life easy for me! Please tell me I'm not the only one who has gone thru this!
Then I go back to her ADD. I have never been more sure about a diagnosis than I am about this. But it only comes out when she is struggling with something. SO then I second guess myself. She has done fine without the meds and I don't think we will ever put her back on it but sometimes I just think there is no other way to get her thru school. I have already had thought of holding her back again.
I just don't get how she can be at school for 8 hours and come home and still not know how to do long division or whatever they are working on and have hours of homework. Same goes for Ryan. Sometimes he has more homework than Hannah.
Which has put homeschooling back on my mind lately. I'm not sure where I stand with it now. I went thru a phase when Hannah first started having trouble at school. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought it would be the wrong choice. I can't figure out if I don't believe in myself enough, especially since my kids have already been in school a long time and like it. What if they don't like being stuck at home all the time? Maybe I am not trusting God enough to help me. I just can't make myself take the leap. What if I'm not smart enough to teach my kids? Especially as they get older.
Just tonight Hannah brought home a sheet with about 18 long division problems on it. She did them fairly quickly but every one except one was wrong when I went back and checked them. While I was fixing supper she tested Ryan on his spelling words. Hannah forgot her planner at school so she didn't have her words to practice. After we ate, we sat down to do the math together. She immediately started sassing me and writing sloppy on purpose and generally not having a good attitude. We did a couple with her storming off crying a few times. I told Ryan to get in the shower because we hadn't even started his homework and I wanted him to be ready when I was ready. Well, by the time he was done, Hannah couldn't do anymore math. We had only done two. She was just staring at her paper, not knowing what to do first after having already done them all once and the first two again. Her brain was fried. I told her to get in the shower and go to bed and I would wake her up early in the morning to do them before school. She didn't like that idea, of course. So Ryan and I started his homework. We finished his math and Hannah finished in the shower. Gave me a hard time about going to bed. I threatened a few things and she finally went to her room while Ryan, Abby and I read.
By this time it was 8 and I went ahead and put Ryan and Abby in bed too. No one came out of the rooms. That is unusual but I'm so glad! Pray that Hannah gets a good nights sleep and is ready for math at 6am!!
If you have been reading my blog for very long (or you are related to me), I don't have to say very much about the continual struggles I have with Hannah at school.
Since moving to NC, those struggles have become much larger. For starters, she didn't learn all her times tables last year like they did down here so that puts her behind. Well, work on them in the evenings, you say. I would love to if I didn't have several hours of homework to do with each child already! And even if we weren't doing anything in the evenings, just learning the times tables is not easy for Hannah. I also feel like she makes so many careless mistakes that could be easily corrected if she would just take her time and try.
I wish she was smarter. Yes, it is hard on me but I want it more than anything for her. I hate to see the emotional pain she goes thru. This makes her feel so unworthy. I pray for God to help me accept her the way she is but it is very hard. I love her so much but she doesn't make life easy for me! Please tell me I'm not the only one who has gone thru this!
Then I go back to her ADD. I have never been more sure about a diagnosis than I am about this. But it only comes out when she is struggling with something. SO then I second guess myself. She has done fine without the meds and I don't think we will ever put her back on it but sometimes I just think there is no other way to get her thru school. I have already had thought of holding her back again.
I just don't get how she can be at school for 8 hours and come home and still not know how to do long division or whatever they are working on and have hours of homework. Same goes for Ryan. Sometimes he has more homework than Hannah.
Which has put homeschooling back on my mind lately. I'm not sure where I stand with it now. I went thru a phase when Hannah first started having trouble at school. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought it would be the wrong choice. I can't figure out if I don't believe in myself enough, especially since my kids have already been in school a long time and like it. What if they don't like being stuck at home all the time? Maybe I am not trusting God enough to help me. I just can't make myself take the leap. What if I'm not smart enough to teach my kids? Especially as they get older.
Just tonight Hannah brought home a sheet with about 18 long division problems on it. She did them fairly quickly but every one except one was wrong when I went back and checked them. While I was fixing supper she tested Ryan on his spelling words. Hannah forgot her planner at school so she didn't have her words to practice. After we ate, we sat down to do the math together. She immediately started sassing me and writing sloppy on purpose and generally not having a good attitude. We did a couple with her storming off crying a few times. I told Ryan to get in the shower because we hadn't even started his homework and I wanted him to be ready when I was ready. Well, by the time he was done, Hannah couldn't do anymore math. We had only done two. She was just staring at her paper, not knowing what to do first after having already done them all once and the first two again. Her brain was fried. I told her to get in the shower and go to bed and I would wake her up early in the morning to do them before school. She didn't like that idea, of course. So Ryan and I started his homework. We finished his math and Hannah finished in the shower. Gave me a hard time about going to bed. I threatened a few things and she finally went to her room while Ryan, Abby and I read.
By this time it was 8 and I went ahead and put Ryan and Abby in bed too. No one came out of the rooms. That is unusual but I'm so glad! Pray that Hannah gets a good nights sleep and is ready for math at 6am!!
Monday, October 27, 2014
Is your life Amazing?
I'm sure everyone reading this will agree that we don't have anything spectacular going on in our lives. We aren't finding a cure for cancer, on the next flight to the moon or writing endless pages about how great our lives are. We are (or were) changing diapers, blowing noses, cleaning toilets, reading children's books, driving to school/church/play dates, grocery shopping. We are being supportive wives, washing laundry, doing endless homework. Some of us are working full time jobs on top of that! We are shaping lives, molding the next generation of husbands and wives. We are raising the future presidents of the United States, teachers, pastors, veterinarians, mothers, fathers, any career you can imagine.
No matter how boring our lives feel, they aren't boring at all! We are doing our greatest work while doing the things that seem the most unimportant. We have little eyes watching our every move. Even when we are doing nothing at all, we are doing something in their little eyes.
More importantly, God is watching. Are we busy about our Father's work?
No matter how boring our lives feel, they aren't boring at all! We are doing our greatest work while doing the things that seem the most unimportant. We have little eyes watching our every move. Even when we are doing nothing at all, we are doing something in their little eyes.
More importantly, God is watching. Are we busy about our Father's work?
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Preacher's kid
I've never had to make more spiritual decisions in my life as I have in the past 5 or so years.
Growing up as a preacher's kid meant I went to church every time the doors were open. Not because I wanted to. I didn't really get a choice. I was only allowed to miss church if vomiting or fever were present. Not that I'm complaining. I'm thankful for my Christian upbringing and Brad and I are doing many of the same things to our kids.
I didn't get to pick where I went to church. I didn't get to pick what I believed. I didn't feel forced or brainwashed but you know what I mean. I was a good child and did what I was told. =) I never had to make any of those decisions because I was always the preacher's kid or living under the preacher's roof.
Then the preacher moved to NC and left me in WV. I was nearly 25 and for the first time having to think for myself. I'm ashamed to say I had spent many a church service before then not paying much attention and I wasn't prepared. Let's be honest, I had heard it all before. Suddenly, I didn't know what I believed. Suddenly, I didn't know who I was anymore. I was no longer the preacher's daughter. For awhile I was ex-preacher's daughter (awkward!!!). After some time I became plain Elisabeth Palmer, member of Buffalo Baptist Church. I found myself listening to the new pastor's every word, thinking, "Do I believe that?" I remember calling dad more than once to ask him about something that had been said.
Not only that, I was also angry. (I hadn't planned to talk about this part until this very moment) Angry at God, angry at the people at church, angry at the new pastor. If it hadn't been for all these people, my kids might still be learning under the leadership of my dad. I looked forward to the day when he would baptize my kids. I loved the way they ran into church every service and hugged their grandparents and went to the office for a piece of candy. In a matter of days, all that was ripped out from under me, from under us. It was something I never thought would happen.
In time, I realized my parent's moving away was a very important step to me "growing up." It is easy to spend your life saying "because dad says so" about every thing. But when you have to come up with you own beliefs, that's when the rubber meets the road. Looking back, there are so many areas where I can see God's providence in my life and this is just one of them. Once I realized that, it was easy to let go of the anger I had and forgive everyone. Not that anyone really even needed forgiving!
Fast forward 5 years. Now we are in NC. Closer to my parents than we have been in several years but still far enough away that we have to continue making our own choices. =) Now we have to pick a new church. I like to think I have grown some spiritually and am better able to discern the truth. I still seek my parents' guidance from time to time. They are always there when I need them. And as I introduce myself to different people in the church, I always find myself including preacher's kid if we get to talk long enough. It's just hard to get away from that title!
Growing up as a preacher's kid meant I went to church every time the doors were open. Not because I wanted to. I didn't really get a choice. I was only allowed to miss church if vomiting or fever were present. Not that I'm complaining. I'm thankful for my Christian upbringing and Brad and I are doing many of the same things to our kids.
I didn't get to pick where I went to church. I didn't get to pick what I believed. I didn't feel forced or brainwashed but you know what I mean. I was a good child and did what I was told. =) I never had to make any of those decisions because I was always the preacher's kid or living under the preacher's roof.
Then the preacher moved to NC and left me in WV. I was nearly 25 and for the first time having to think for myself. I'm ashamed to say I had spent many a church service before then not paying much attention and I wasn't prepared. Let's be honest, I had heard it all before. Suddenly, I didn't know what I believed. Suddenly, I didn't know who I was anymore. I was no longer the preacher's daughter. For awhile I was ex-preacher's daughter (awkward!!!). After some time I became plain Elisabeth Palmer, member of Buffalo Baptist Church. I found myself listening to the new pastor's every word, thinking, "Do I believe that?" I remember calling dad more than once to ask him about something that had been said.
Not only that, I was also angry. (I hadn't planned to talk about this part until this very moment) Angry at God, angry at the people at church, angry at the new pastor. If it hadn't been for all these people, my kids might still be learning under the leadership of my dad. I looked forward to the day when he would baptize my kids. I loved the way they ran into church every service and hugged their grandparents and went to the office for a piece of candy. In a matter of days, all that was ripped out from under me, from under us. It was something I never thought would happen.
In time, I realized my parent's moving away was a very important step to me "growing up." It is easy to spend your life saying "because dad says so" about every thing. But when you have to come up with you own beliefs, that's when the rubber meets the road. Looking back, there are so many areas where I can see God's providence in my life and this is just one of them. Once I realized that, it was easy to let go of the anger I had and forgive everyone. Not that anyone really even needed forgiving!
Fast forward 5 years. Now we are in NC. Closer to my parents than we have been in several years but still far enough away that we have to continue making our own choices. =) Now we have to pick a new church. I like to think I have grown some spiritually and am better able to discern the truth. I still seek my parents' guidance from time to time. They are always there when I need them. And as I introduce myself to different people in the church, I always find myself including preacher's kid if we get to talk long enough. It's just hard to get away from that title!
Sunday, October 12, 2014
What defines you
While sweeping the kitchen floor earlier I started thinking of the things that define us. I'm not sure what made all this pop into my head but I'm saving it to use for a ladies meeting devotion in the future. So here I am-my family is away, I've been doing whatever I want and yet I am sweeping floors, loading the dishwasher, cleaning out the frig for trash day, etc. Why? Because that's who I am. Or is it? Take a minute and make a mental list of 5 things that define you.
Here are some things that I think could be on your list. A lot of them are on mine.
mother
maid
cook
accountant
wife
dog walker
teacher
grandma
pastor's wife
preacher's kid
The list could go on for days.
But are these really the things that should define us? None of the things listed are bad things but how does God define us? That is the real question!
This is what God's list of things that define you should look like:
Redeemed- Isaiah 44:22 I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee.
Forgiven- Ephesians 1:7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;
Accepted- Ephesians 1:6 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
Bought- 1 Corinthians 6:20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
Child of God- Romans 8:16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
Complete-Colossians 2:10 And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:
Loved- Ephesians 3:19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
Conquerors- Romans 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
Who's definitions do you like better? Next time you -or I- are getting all wrapped up in the things that define us on earth, take a minute to think of the things that define us to God.
Have anything to add to this devotion? Leave it in the comments!
Here are some things that I think could be on your list. A lot of them are on mine.
mother
maid
cook
accountant
wife
dog walker
teacher
grandma
pastor's wife
preacher's kid
The list could go on for days.
But are these really the things that should define us? None of the things listed are bad things but how does God define us? That is the real question!
This is what God's list of things that define you should look like:
Redeemed- Isaiah 44:22 I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee.
Forgiven- Ephesians 1:7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;
Accepted- Ephesians 1:6 To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
Bought- 1 Corinthians 6:20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
Child of God- Romans 8:16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
Complete-Colossians 2:10 And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:
Loved- Ephesians 3:19 And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
Conquerors- Romans 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
Who's definitions do you like better? Next time you -or I- are getting all wrapped up in the things that define us on earth, take a minute to think of the things that define us to God.
Have anything to add to this devotion? Leave it in the comments!
Monday, September 22, 2014
Are you wasting your life?
Every day we find ourselves doing the same things over and over. We get up, eat, go to work (or stay home and work), take care of our families and homes, watch a little tv, go to bed and maybe read a verse or two of the Bible in there somewhere. Then we do it all over again. In a lifetime we spend the first 18+ years worrying about school and what we want to do with our lives, only to spend the next 30+ years working at a job we hate, retire and die.
Now, I'm pretty sure the people who read this do not hate their jobs (I think we all have the same job-MOM) but think about people in general. How many people do you know who are basically just existing? They live life because they have to. They don't know what their purpose is. They are just doing what we and millions of people do every day and have done every day for a long time now. As humans we always want more. We are consumed with having the biggest house, nicest cars, lots of "toys" (camper, boat, ATV, etc), making sure our kids get good jobs, making sure we are popular with people, preparing for our retirement and so on.
Do you know what the Bible says about that? More specifically what the wisest man that ever lived besides Jesus says about that?
Ecclesiastes 1
1 The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.
2 Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.
3 What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?
4 One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever.
It is pointless. All of it. If it isn't profiting the Kingdom of God, it is being done in vain.
The preacher at the church we have been attending (this might be the one!) preached on this Wed. Of course I have heard it before. We all have. This time it is really sticking with me. I can't stop thinking about it. How much of what I do on a daily basis is filled with vanity? A lot if you think about it. How much of what I do on a daily basis is building God's kingdom and not mine? Not much. As Christians we should know what our purpose on this earth is. How much of what we do daily in a whole lifetime has to do with our true purpose?
What I realized this weekend is that I don't want my kids growing up thinking they need to have a high paying jobs to be happy or thinking life's purpose is all the things we do for ourselves on earth. I want them to know that their purpose, once saved, is building GOd's kingdom. Of course they will have to have jobs, go to the grocery store, clean their house, have a car but is that stuff really what's important? I don't want them looking at my life and thinking that is what counts. I want every decision they make to start with the question "What does God want me to do here?" or "How is this going to build God's kingdom and not mine?"
All that starts with us parents. Is your life filled with vanity of vanities? I don't want my life to be!
Now, I'm pretty sure the people who read this do not hate their jobs (I think we all have the same job-MOM) but think about people in general. How many people do you know who are basically just existing? They live life because they have to. They don't know what their purpose is. They are just doing what we and millions of people do every day and have done every day for a long time now. As humans we always want more. We are consumed with having the biggest house, nicest cars, lots of "toys" (camper, boat, ATV, etc), making sure our kids get good jobs, making sure we are popular with people, preparing for our retirement and so on.
Do you know what the Bible says about that? More specifically what the wisest man that ever lived besides Jesus says about that?
Ecclesiastes 1
1 The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.
2 Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.
3 What profit hath a man of all his labour which he taketh under the sun?
4 One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever.
It is pointless. All of it. If it isn't profiting the Kingdom of God, it is being done in vain.
The preacher at the church we have been attending (this might be the one!) preached on this Wed. Of course I have heard it before. We all have. This time it is really sticking with me. I can't stop thinking about it. How much of what I do on a daily basis is filled with vanity? A lot if you think about it. How much of what I do on a daily basis is building God's kingdom and not mine? Not much. As Christians we should know what our purpose on this earth is. How much of what we do daily in a whole lifetime has to do with our true purpose?
What I realized this weekend is that I don't want my kids growing up thinking they need to have a high paying jobs to be happy or thinking life's purpose is all the things we do for ourselves on earth. I want them to know that their purpose, once saved, is building GOd's kingdom. Of course they will have to have jobs, go to the grocery store, clean their house, have a car but is that stuff really what's important? I don't want them looking at my life and thinking that is what counts. I want every decision they make to start with the question "What does God want me to do here?" or "How is this going to build God's kingdom and not mine?"
All that starts with us parents. Is your life filled with vanity of vanities? I don't want my life to be!
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
New blog, new chapter
Most of you know I had something go funky with my other blog. I hope everyone finds me no trouble! After I got to thinking about it, a new blog is only fitting for this new time in my life!
Things are going very well here in Faith, NC. The kids are adjusting very well. They have made lots of friends and besides needing to "learn to speak North Carolina" I don't think they are having any trouble. The school is twice as big as Buffalo and I don't like not knowing anyone but since I don't get out of my car at drop off or pick up, I really haven't had the chance to meet any other parents. I can't really volunteer in the class because of Abby. She's just not up for sitting still while I read to a class of 2nd graders!
I was finally able to pull my van into the garage. It only took me a month to get it cleared out. But it is still too tight so I'm back to parking in the driveway until I can get some more organizing done. And that is not my forte so it might be awhile!
We love our house. Ryan and Abby sharing a room was definitely the right choice for now. They get a long so well. I can't imagine the headache I would have if Abby was with Hannah. I can hear her dramatic whine now...."Abby won't leave my stuff alone!" We gave up a laundry room and went back to a hallway laundry closet. We didn't get a 4th bedroom. We didn't get property or lots of trees. But I'm sure we are where God wants us to be. That is better than all the bedrooms and trees in the world!
We were hoping that living in a subdivision would give the kids a chance to have some friends, although the neighbor kids was one of my huge complaints in WV. At least half, or more, of the houses here have kids swing sets or play equipment in the yard but NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is ever outside. It is the quietest neighborhood in the world. I am not exaggerating. I wish I was. We did eventually mean a neighbor down the road. They have a 3rd grade girl and a 3 yr old boy. The kids see her at school but she is very busy with after school activities so they are lucky if they see her once a week at home. They don't go to church anywhere so I'm praying we will be a good witness to them and hopefully be taking the kids to church with us at some point.
Speaking of church....that part of moving has not been fun. I didn't realize how hard it was going to be. Having the word "Baptist" on the sign means nothing these days. I've lost count but I think we are on church # 6. I know I definitely took our church in WV for granted. Enough about that.
If you will remember, we sold our camper when we sold the house. We are missing that camper like the dickens! Especially with the cooler weather. It is camping season and we aren't going. =(
We still have some things to take care of WV but we are well on our way to being North Carolinians!
Things are going very well here in Faith, NC. The kids are adjusting very well. They have made lots of friends and besides needing to "learn to speak North Carolina" I don't think they are having any trouble. The school is twice as big as Buffalo and I don't like not knowing anyone but since I don't get out of my car at drop off or pick up, I really haven't had the chance to meet any other parents. I can't really volunteer in the class because of Abby. She's just not up for sitting still while I read to a class of 2nd graders!
I was finally able to pull my van into the garage. It only took me a month to get it cleared out. But it is still too tight so I'm back to parking in the driveway until I can get some more organizing done. And that is not my forte so it might be awhile!
We love our house. Ryan and Abby sharing a room was definitely the right choice for now. They get a long so well. I can't imagine the headache I would have if Abby was with Hannah. I can hear her dramatic whine now...."Abby won't leave my stuff alone!" We gave up a laundry room and went back to a hallway laundry closet. We didn't get a 4th bedroom. We didn't get property or lots of trees. But I'm sure we are where God wants us to be. That is better than all the bedrooms and trees in the world!
We were hoping that living in a subdivision would give the kids a chance to have some friends, although the neighbor kids was one of my huge complaints in WV. At least half, or more, of the houses here have kids swing sets or play equipment in the yard but NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is ever outside. It is the quietest neighborhood in the world. I am not exaggerating. I wish I was. We did eventually mean a neighbor down the road. They have a 3rd grade girl and a 3 yr old boy. The kids see her at school but she is very busy with after school activities so they are lucky if they see her once a week at home. They don't go to church anywhere so I'm praying we will be a good witness to them and hopefully be taking the kids to church with us at some point.
Speaking of church....that part of moving has not been fun. I didn't realize how hard it was going to be. Having the word "Baptist" on the sign means nothing these days. I've lost count but I think we are on church # 6. I know I definitely took our church in WV for granted. Enough about that.
If you will remember, we sold our camper when we sold the house. We are missing that camper like the dickens! Especially with the cooler weather. It is camping season and we aren't going. =(
We still have some things to take care of WV but we are well on our way to being North Carolinians!
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